Networking.

Networking. Meeting People. Making connections. Getting phone numbers and planning meetings. Parties. Networking. Golf outings and cook outs. Dinner with drinks afterwards. Business propositions. Networking. Smiles, sometimes genuine, sometimes not. Similar situation involving laughter. Networking. Hand shakes, high fives, thumbs up and fingers used for imaginary shootouts. Networking. How do you do's? What do you do? What are you going to do? What can you do for me? Networking.

I think you get the idea. I have moved to a place where I know no one and have little to no idea of how to do, what I want to do. So, I network. I have never ever networked before. I don't know what I am doing. I don't know how to meet people or make connections. I don't belong to country clubs or have passes to hot night clubs. I'll stop mentioning all the things I don't have.

I knew networking was involved. I knew networking was an involved process where the level of commitment can effect the type of result. I know networking can help me get to where I want to go.

I am a shy guy. I can be loud, zany, and quite comical but that is for show. I am a shy guy who is uncomfortable with myself much of the time. I cringe at trying to meet girls. I find it hard to make new friends. I am not your brochacho and I am not your sexual fantasy. I keep to myself much of the time. Networking is a daunting challenge for me. I am so good at being alone and doing things on my own that the greatest challenge in moving to California is not the move, or leaving my friends and family, or even finding a job but having to network.

A week ago I went to a party. It was fun. Industry people were in attendance. I knew 2 people attending and my knowledge of them was an hour spent with them previously at a cookout two weeks prior. So I was a lone wolf. I met people but didn't really get to know anyone. I left the party as I entered the party, a lone wolf. Side note - I think this "lone wolf" thing would sound cooler coming from someone else. I don't know if I made contacts but I told my story and heard others. Got some advice and shared my opinions. I was nervous but I pulled through. What happens next? I have no idea but hopefully something.

Yes I know. It's sort of big baby thing to cry about but come on, cut me some slack. It's a hard thing to do when you've never been comfortable with who you are and you need people to like you. Absurd as it may seem, this is who I am and I know who I want to be so sacrifices to my comfort level will just have to be made for the sake of my hopes, dreams and ambitions.

till next time.